Week 49: Weeds Season Three, Disc One

Season 3 of Weeds! Watching this show is like finding a $20 bill in the pocket of an old coat – it will make you smile for at least an hour. There’s nothing too heavy about this show, it’s just consistently funny, despite Kevin Nealon’s bad attempts at acting and Elizabeth Perkin’s atrociously over-the-top character.

But I spent most of my time on this first half of season 3 contemplating my once beloved Mary Louise Parker, who plays the show’s heroine, Nancy Botwin. Maybe I’m still ticked that Ms. Parker offed her original nose on what was otherwise an unusually attractive face, but she’s driving me nuts this season. So much open-mouthed staring. So much frazzled mumbling and slurred reactions. It’s like she’s acting underwater or is just constantly waking up from a groggy nap. Here’s how I imagine the director coaches her in each scene:

DIRECTOR: Okay, Mary. Is it okay if I call you Mary? Or do I have to go through with the whole Mary-Louise thing? It's a bit much. Kind of makes you sound like a housewife from Indiana in 1940.

MLP: What if the color I call blue is really what you see as green?

DIRECTOR: Okay, um, I don’t know about that but I guess we’ll go with Mary-Louise. So in this scene, I need you to act sort of helpless, lost and vaguely stoned.

MLP: [stares with huge doe eyes] Obejwanot mmamburger.

DIRECTOR: Hmmm? What was that? You’re look is great right now, Mary-Louise. You’re really capturing Nancy’s trauma and shock. I’m just wondering if you can make your eyes even wider and doey-er? I really want you to look like you’ve just spent a night watching a laser light show set to a Led Zeppelin soundtrack.

MLP: Ingul volger handashery.

DIRECTOR: Are you, uh, are you having some kind of motionless seizure?

MLP: My thumbs are so big.

DIRECTOR: Okay, Mary-Louise, can I get you some coffee or something? Maybe a Red Bull?

MLP: Bull. Bulls. Balls. Bowls. Bows. Slurbyderber.

DIRECTOR: Can someone bring me a pot of black coffee and one of those giant needles filled with adrenaline? You know, like the one in Pulp Fiction? Really pump that sucker full of some serious shit. Maybe an electric blanket? Jumper cables? I NEED HELP, PEOPLE!

MLP: Bumbleduffer nyugen

Week 14: Weeds, Season 2, Disc 1

Sorry for the delay in this post, but the Labor Day holiday put a serious wrench in our Netflix mail schedule. It was like the perfect storm of bad timing. Thank you, day off of work. No thank you, postal delays.

Anyway, we watched the entire first season of Weeds in one rainy afternoon last year. We felt like we had the munchies just from watching it. Okay, I just like to snack, but even so, it was a nice excuse to feel like we were in good company.


You probably already know that Weeds is about a newly widowed housewife (Mary Louise Parker) who decides to sell weed in order to keep her family living in their upscale gated California community. It's a funny premise, but I'm still questioning how long this can go on before the series begins taking ridiculous soap opera turns a la the train-wreck second season of Desperate Housewives.

In a way, I feel like it already has. And it isn't helping that two key supporting players, Doug Wilson (played by Kevin Nealon) and Celia (Elizabeth Perkins), inhabit grossly one-dimensional characters. I'm not buying Doug as such a complete ass. And it's inconceivable that Celia can be so evil to her only daughter ("You don't want to be the fattest girl in fat camp again this year, do you?") They are fun to watch but they make the show feel like bubble gum. Neat and plasticky but not a real foodstuff.

It's just this sort of shallow writing that will keep Weeds far away from the lush grasses of shows like Six Feet Under, The Sopranos, and my new darling, Deadwood. I realize this sounds like I don't care for the show, which isn't true. I've got a soft spot for Mary Louise Parker and her lethargic way of speaking, like she is perennially waking up from a nap. And casting Martin Donovan as the hunky-love-interest-who-happens-to-be-a-DEA-agent is brilliant. Ladies, trust me on this one. Although he has a somewhat scarily large noggin, Martin Donovan has to be one of the most underrated actors around. This is the best storyline of the show but is one I'm afraid they're playing out much too fast.

We have one episode left on the disc to finish tonight, which means I better go make some popcorn. And maybe some chips and dip. And possibly some nachos...