Week 18: Blades of Glory

Oh, Will Ferrell. Let's get back to what you do best. Remember Anchorman? That was funny. Old School? Yes, please, I'd like another. But Blades of Glory? Sheesh. This is bad. This is Cuba Gooding-in-the-movie-with-sled-dogs bad.

Sure, Blades has its funny gross-out moments that you can't help but laugh at, but for the most part, it's just a ludicrous, obvious script that has zero surprises. Ferrell's co-star, Jon Heder (of Napoleon Dynamite fame), can't act his way out of a paper bag, even though he's playing a dopey dufus in this film, which doesn't seem like that much of a stretch for him. It would be sort of like asking me to portray a person who sits on the sofa and eats potato chips while making cracks about celebrities. I think I could make the leap.

The only bright spots in the film come from the hilarious figure-skating duo played by real-life husband and wife, Will Arnett and Amy Poehler. I am, to say the least, slightly insanely obsessed with the TV show Arrested Development, where I formed a deep and long-lasting attachment to Will Arnett (read: I am toying with stalking). So, I was delighted to find that he is essentially playing the same character in Blades. His delivery is great and seeing the pair's ludicrous skating ensembles might make this movie worth watching alone.

I will admit that I laughed out loud at the scene in which Will Arnett chases Will Ferrell on skates through a street and building, prancing delicately like kittens taking their first wobbly steps.

That being said, I'd like to end with a serious message to Will Ferrell. We've already had a discussion about your body hair in the previous Queue post for Stranger Than Fiction. But now we need to discuss your career choices. Let me help you out with a little-known piece of advice: just because they offer you a movie, it doesn't mean you have to take it. For example, I'm sure there's a script floating your way about a hijinks-filled croquet tournament or the dark underside of competitive needlepoint. BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT. Leave it Jack Black. He needs the work.