Tuesday, September 23, 2008

The Puffy Chair

I have a suggestion for an alternate title for The Puffy Chair: "DO NOT WASTE THE PAPER YOUR NETFLIX ENVELOPE IS PRINTED ON." It has a nice ring, doesn't it?

In other words, I am giving up on the independent film industry. Consider us broken up. I can't take another dull and meandering film again.

From here on out it's nothing but Jerry Bruckheimer, Vin Diesel and John Travolta for me. Oh yes, I went there. Tim Allen? I'll eat him for breakfast. Tyler Perry and his various houses of things? I will laugh my various asses off.

No more vague plots for me. No more hazily formed symbolism. No more artsy for the sake of fartsy. From here on out I am dedicating myself to plots involving Nicolas Cage, his bad wig, a vial of plutonium and a possible prison escape.

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