Nothing says ‘Merry Christmas’ like watching Sin City, does it? Welcome to another blasphemous holiday with the Motley Queue. What can I say, I love this movie. It is simply the coolest thing ever put on film, and that’s saying a lot considering the cast includes Brittany “I used to be a cool chick but then I got skinny and blonde and now you can’t tell me apart from all the other Hollywood blondettes” Murphy, as well as Josh “I’m a handsomer, squintier version of Ben Affleck” Hartnett.
Also, Michael Clarke Duncan somehow made it into this movie, and it's a real shame. I won't even link him to IMDB here, because I DON'T CONSIDER HIM AN ACTOR. He is large. I will give him that. Tractors and Kodiak bears are also large. And are also not actors.
But enough about who's bad in this movie. Let's talk about who's good. Clive Owen is so heroically cool that it should be criminal. Benicio Del Toro is a terrific oily, oozy bad guy. And Mickey Rourke is just astounding as Marv. I never thought we'd see Rourke's deformed mug again, but he absolutely steals the show in Sin City. Watch the movie for his performance alone and you won't be dissapointed.
Sin City's style is straight from the Frank Miller graphic novels on which it's based. It's over-the-top, comic and thrilling. Elijah Wood's performance as the freaky cannibal was terrifying. That's right, I was TERRIFIED BY ELIJAH WOOD. Don't judge me.
I haven't been this disturbed since his homoerotic bed-jumping hobbit scene. And that's saying a lot.
Bruce Willis rounds out the cast of leading men in Sin City and he plays my favorite Bruce Willis role: the one in which he pretends not to know he's a total bad ass. He's like, "I'm just a down-on-his luck guy who happens to have Navy Seal training that I'm sure I'll never have to use. Look! I'm wearing a shapeless trench coat. There's no way I'm tremendously muscled with the reflexes of a cougar under a shapeless coat like this. Gosh golly gee. Wait, what's this in my pocket? Oh, it's a can of WHOOP-ASS!"
His performance was, shall we say, very Bruce Willisnian, but in the spirit of Sin City, it was okay by me.
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