Milk

Well now, the American Dairy Association is going to be unpleasantly surprised when they watch this tribute film.

Tee, hee. All jokes aside, it's no surprise that Milk is a good film. It was nominated for a slew of awards and Sean Penn is obviously terrific in it. I'm pretty sure Sean Penn is terrific when he trims his toenails or pays his utility bills, so it's hard to be bowled over by his performances any more, right? It's like putting A-Rod up to bat. You're pretty safe to go get a hot dog because you know the team's in good hands.

It's easy to admire Penn's charismatic portrayal of the first openly gay public office holder, Harvey Milk. But did I love the movie itself? Love might be a strong word. It's really good, but it doesn't evolve beyond the trappings of a biopic, trying to cram so much history into so little film and make us understand the person's soul at the same time. The latter is where the movie really failed for me.

Maybe that's because the tableau of characters surround Harvey Milk felt stereotyped and trite, as if director Gus Van Sant threw them in because he needed them to be there, not because he really wanted to pay them any attention. Look at me, I'm the hysterically unpredictable foreign boyfriend! Look at me, I'm the wisecracking lesbian campaign manager!

I never found myself engaging with any of the supporting cast, with the exception of Josh Brolin, who absolutely seethes in every scene (as one would expect the stepson of Barbra Streisand to do very well, zing!). He's like a pile of twitching electrical cables just inches from a pool of water. Watching his character slowly unwind iis the real pleasure of watching Milk.

Week 42: American Gangster

Russell Crowe, you just won't leave me alone, will you? Quit popping up in good films and tainting them with your ego-stink, you naughty Aussie. Although I didn't loathe you in American Gangster, I couldn't get over how much your '70s hairdo made you look like a ghostly incarnation of the late Croc Hunter, Steve Irwin. Crikey.

All that aside, I have to give American Gangster serious props. The plot is huge and it was so enjoyable to watch the action unfold. I don't care much for Crowe or Denzel "my sh*t don't stink" Washington, but I actually enjoyed both of them in this film. Denzel, starring as self-made drug lord, Frank Lucas, does a pretty amazing job of balancing his character's murderous temper with his deeply empathetic side. Crowe's role as detective Richie Roberts is pretty one-dimensional. Wow, he's an honest cop who doesn't take bribes. I have shivers.

It's really Josh Brolin, who plays the dirtiest of dirty cops, who electrifies every scene. I would imagine that having Barbra Streisand as a mother-in-law would give an actor a few pent-up rage options to work with. Like I bet if she's making a sandwich and finds that her stepson used up all the mustard THERE IS HELL TO PAY.

What I loved most about American Gangster is that the plot is based on the true story of Frank Lucas's rise and fall as the biggest crime boss in America. I love this kind of true-life drama almost as much as I love imagining what happens at the Streisand/Brolin house if Barbra catches James eating Ritz crackers on her $5,000 sheets...or goes to the bathroom and finds someone used up all the toilet paper and didn't put out a new roll...or if Josh insists on standing on Barbra's right side...or if the gardener makes eye contact with her...

...I could really do this all day.