The Dark Knight

Standing in a ridiculously long line to get into the theater to watch Dark Knight, we spotted a grown man wearing full Joker face make-up. Given that it was 95-degrees out, I imagine he spent the rest of his day scrubbing melted make-up out of his upholstery. At least he could console himself with the knowledge that it was TOTALLY WORTH RUINING HIS CAR. This is the kind of sacrifice Dark Knight inspires in its fans. It’s comic book film-making at its very best.

The cast? Phenomenal. Thank god they ditched Katie Holmes, whose former performance as Rachel Dawes feels like a kid playing dress-up compared to Maggie Gyllenhaal’s cool composure. And while Gyllenhaal still resembles the sad girl you knew in high school who was always inking angry poems on her forearms, there is something magnetic about her doe-eyed wistfulness. I wasn’t as impressed with Aaron Eckhart’s good-boy turn as Harvey Dent but to be fair, the Dent role was probably the most thin and one-dimensional of the entire cast.

But you don’t really care about Gyllenhaal and Eckhart do you? You want to know about Heath Ledger. His Joker was just as brilliant as you’ve heard. A complicated mix of leering sociopathy and charm. Possibly the greatest villain we’ve encountered since Anthony Hopkins’ Hannibal Lecter. I pity the person who will have to pick-up the helm from Ledger. Unless that person is Edward Norton in which case I will be totally psyched.

And while I’m still a little wary of Christian Bale and his muskrat teeth, he is winning me over as Batman. Although I did catch myself snickering here and there at the raspy, deep-voice he uses whenever he’s in the Batman costume. He’s Batman, not Marlboro Man, Bale.

Now onto director Christopher Nolan, who shall be heretofore known as “The Jesus Christ of Cinema.” I’ve said it before but if he directed me out of my driveway each morning, it would definitely win an Oscar. Nolan practically assaults the audience in Dark Knight with a non-stop barrage of violence, brutality and action. That level of action combined with the sub-stories of so many characters makes the film feel overloaded at times, but we were happy to be along for the ride.

Emerging from the theater back into daylight and reality, I felt dazed and wrung out, as if I’d ingested a gallon of Red Bull and crawled through an automatic car wash. But then I saw the nerd with white make-up dripping all over the carpet and I felt like all was right with the world again.

Week 37: 3:10 to Yuma

Well now, I finally know how the Brits feel when Gwyneth Paltrow and Squinty Zellwegger hop across the pond and steal all their plumb roles. Not great. You don’t loathe them for trying to play your countrymen, but there is something that rings false about it. Just like the two very capable leads of 3:10 to Yuma, Christian Bale playing the rancher Dan Evans and Russell Crowe playing the outlaw Ben Wade.

They’re both fine actors but something ruffled me about seeing a Brit and an Aussie playing Wild West gunslingers. I don’t think of myself as terribly patriotic but I guess I hold the western epic a little closer to my heart than I’d believed. This should be American filmmaking at its best. So every time Russell Crowe slipped a little into his Aussie drawl, I cringed. I really loved this movie, but I think I would have loved it a little more if say, the two leads had been played by Chris Cooper and Edward Norton.

To be fair though, I do go into every movie with a predisposition against Russell Crowe and his over-hyped acting abilities. Every time I see him on screen I feel like he just oozes smug self-satisfaction, like I can read his internal monologue:

“I’m acting this so good. I dunno why these other actors bothered to show up because let’s be honest, I’m pretty much the shit. Look at me right now, I’m pensive. Now I’m angry. Here comes sensitive. Bam. I killed that. I am a master of my CRAFT. They should call this Crowing, not Acting.”

Can’t you just picture him thinking that? C’mon. You know he does. My Crowe distaste aside, don’t let me dissuade you from watching this movie. It’s a terrific film. If you love a great Western and have been longing for something to fill the void left by the masterpiece, Unforgiven, 3:10 to Yuma might fit the bill. It's not the most original or unexpected plot you'll ever encounter, but it still makes for great entertainment. The action is tight, the characters are vivid and most importantly to an outlaw epic, the bad guys are oh-so-bad. This was a great edge-of-your-seat gun-slinging pleasure. Giddyup.

Week 24: Batman Begins

First, I must admit a hard truth here. Somewhere in my awkward early teen years, I developed a deep and unwavering love of the 1989 version of Batman starring Michael Keaton and Jack Nicholson. So much so that to this day I can still quote the movie line-for-line. It is sad, but true. Give me enough to drink at a party (mama likey de vodka) and I'll perform it for you. I even know all the lyrics to that crappy Prince soundtrack for the movie. I like bats...Vicky Vale, Vicky Vale...

And as much as that tells you about my social life and cool-factor in high school, it should also tell you that I practically beat down the doors of the theater to watch Batman Begins. Or as it shall forever be known as henceforth: THE MOST PERFECT SUPERHERO MOVIE EVER.
The reasons why I love this movie are many. Let us count the ways.

• It's not campy. It's not funny. It's just dark and moody. And it's perfect. Simply the best re-telling of a story we all know in a way that made it completely fresh and exciting.
• It officially moves Christian Bale off my "creepy" list, in spite of the fact that he still has little muskrat teeth. See my review of The Prestige for confirmation. I have never been a Bale fan. He gives me the willies. I'm sorry....GAVE me the willies. Now that I see he is the perfect Batman, I have flip-flopped my stance on Bale faster than a republican candidate looking for a nomination.
• Katie Holmes. You get to spend a lot of time considering her as unspoiled in this movie (that is: not scientologized yet).
• Cool toys: this movie has by far the best bat toys of any movie. You only have to watch one scene with the Batmobile to get my meaning.
• Christopher Nolan directed it. If he directed me out of my driveway each morning, it would probably win an Oscar. Everything this man touches turns to cool. I bet he is a real bummer to hang out with, but man, this guy can make a movie.

In short, although I know it makes me a total geek and possibly a teenaged boy, I LOVE BATMAN BEGINS. And I am eagerly awaiting the sequel. Mr. Nolan, get on that, would ya? Don't worry if Tom Cruise won't let Katie --er-- Kate, play. We won't miss her.