Thursday, July 5, 2007

Week 3: Bonus Film: Jesus Camp

I have just two words to describe our reaction to the movie Jesus Camp. . . Jesus Christ.

I should disclaim that neither Grant nor I practice any religion. Instead, on Sunday mornings we practice a religious observation of sausage. Links, patties, German, sweet, Italian or hot, we welcome all kinds at our house of worship. And if enjoying a delicious sausage breakfast isn't a godly experience, then strike me down, god who I don't really believe in anyway.

If you share our religious views or love of sausage, this is just one of those movies that is going to make you feel alternately nauseous and outraged.

It follows a group of brainwashed Oklahoma hill children as they attend an evangelical summer camp. Only at this summer camp instead of learning archery and having their first kisses, they instead learn to speak in tongues and repent for the awful sins they have committed. Their sins? Sporting enormous mullets.

The leader of the camp is a complete lunatic who at one point goes on a hilarious diatribe about the evils of Harry Potter, proclaiming, "if Harry Potter were alive in biblical times, GOD WOULD HAVE KILLED HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Take that, JK Rowling! Some lonely cow in Oklahoma with a frosted tips and a logo'd sweatshirt has the ear of god and she's not taking your crap anymore.

Speaking of the cow with frosted tips, aren't gluttony and vanity sins? Or did that change? No? Oh, well then. I think that's the kind of thing we're not supposed to point out to the righteous chosen ones.

PS: if for no other reason, you have to watch this movie to see the Reverend Ted "Not a Meth-Smoking Secret Gay" Haggard preach to the children about the evils of things such as smoking meth and having secret gay lovers. Priceless.

You evangelicals can keep your god. I've got sausage.

1 comment:

Kaycee said...

This was one of the funniest reviews I have ever read. And right on. You have a great knack for this!