Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Week 3: The Prestige

Everything is good about this movie except its title. The Prestige. I dare you to say it without speaking in a haughty British accent. It sounds like a new flavor from Fancy Feast cat food. "The Prestige, a special blend of roasted Bavarian ham and Cristal champagne presented in an organic blackberry reduction gelee." Meow.

We almost didn't rent this movie just because the title was so awful. But then someone told me it was a Christopher Nolan film and I almost burned up my keyboard adding it to my Netflix queue. I have never met Christopher Nolan, but I'd really like to get inside his head and tinker around with it for a few hours. I bet it's like visiting a crazy person's attic.

This movie is about two rival magicians who ruthlessly try to destroy one another's careers in the quest for blah, blah, blah, blah. You get the idea. What's more important is that you get to spend a lot of time considering who is creepier: Hugh Jackman or Christian Bale.

Whenever we see Hugh Jackman in a film, Grant and I spend at least ten minutes making fun of his name. "Grant, have you seen my Huge Ackman?" or, "Is that a roll of quarters in your pocket or do you just have a Huge Ackman?" Try it, it's fun. He's not really that creepy, but I have a real problem seeing the man who plays Wolverine doing the high-step in gold lame pants during the Tony awards. I'm not questioning anyone's sexuality, I'm just saying it makes a girl think.

Now onto Christian Bale. I don't know what it is about him, but he gives me the heebie-jeebies. I think it's because he has small teeth that point back towards his tongue. LIKE MUSKRAT TEETH. I imagine him licking his teeth with his tongue and making little rodent sucking sounds. And I find it creepy. He was great in Batman but in every other role he's just so needy and drab. I can take him or leave him.

Anyway, we both liked this movie and it had some good twists, although for the most part you can see them coming. I predicted the twin thing about thirty minutes in, which probably makes me a hero somewhere. Michael Caine is also in the movie, playing the same role he plays in every movie. Seeing him on screen is like stumbling upon a comfortable old slipper. Pleasant but familiar.

I'd write more but I just saw a Huge Ackman out the window.
Man, that never gets old.

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