Week 32: Big Love Season 2, Disc 1

Dear Creators of Big Love:
I respectfully request that you end this show immediately. I understand that this program is well-loved by many and that you have reportedly created a wonderful portrait of a Mormon man and his three wives trying to live a respectable, normal existence in a modern suburb.

However, I think I speak on behalf of the country at large when I ask you to cease immediately. Your portrayals are bringing much unwanted attention to – ahem – things that, well, just should not be brought to the attention of the voting public. Or any public, but the voting public is just one example that came to mind for no particular reason at all.

Perhaps you could consider putting the show on hiatus until, let’s say, any time after November 4, 2008. Just a meaningless date I pulled out of a hat. That being said, if the whole “Mormon thing” could just lie low until then, it would probably be best for everyone. The pulse of the country is definitely saying, “let’s put Mormons on the back burner. We do not want to hear about Mormons at all. Not one bit.”

I thank you kindly for your cooperation.
Sincerely,
M. Romney

PS: I’ve heard that Evangelicals have started drinking the blood of white Christian babies. Republican babies! Now THAT is an idea for a new show that would be perfect to air any time between now and November 4, 2008. And I’m giving this idea to you totally free of charge. You’re welcome.